When Ellie was born, I felt this overwhelming pressure come over me. There is a different pressure that exists when you give birth to a little girl vs a little boy. All of a sudden, every failure you think you have as a woman becomes very vivid and you feel panicked to ensure your daughter never makes any of those same mistakes. Ha! It's an interesting new anxiety I tell ya! This new pressure I was feeling needed to be let go of, so like I always do I developed a new mantra. I started with, "Be the woman you want HER to BE!" I liked it, but something was off. I don't want Ellie to be what I want her to be. I want Ellie to be herself, to shine with all of her beautiful colors for all the world to see! I want her to be exactly who she grows to want to be. Therefore, I altered my mantra.
"BE the woman I want THEM to SEE!!"
The best thing I can do for both my children, is be someone they can be proud of and be inspired by. I want them to grow up knowing they have a mother who is strong, kind, positive, creative, and spontaneous. The best thing I can do for them is to always strive to be the best version of myself.
I am at an odd crossroads in my life right now. I am superbly happy at home but there are other parts of my life that give me an uneasy feeling. I feel as though I need some serious change and those changes are scary. Those changes are going to require me to take some risks and some serious leaps of faith.
When I consider making these life altering changes, my anxiety kicks in. When my anxiety kicks in right now I have to ask myself, "Do I want my kids to be risk takers? Do I want my kids to follow their passions in life? Do I want my kids to always follow a path to better themselves and continuously learn about who they are in this life?"
BE the woman I want them to SEE!
Hell yes I want that for them! Looks like I have a lot of work to do...on myself!
Alright universe look out! This Mama is about to rattle the cage a little!!!!!!!
