He's BAAAAACK!

My little guy has officially and finally snapped out of whatever was going on with him and I could NOT be happier!!!

Over the last couple of weeks, Ben has become himself again.  As quickly as that glazed over phase came on at 6 months, he suddenly snapped out of it at 9 and a half months.  CRAZY!  It was literally like night and day.  One day he was just staring off into space and sucking him thumbs, and the next day he was looking at me and acting all happy.  In the course of the last two weeks he has started doing new facial expressions including, but not limited too, a full on scowl when he is unhappy with something as well as a popping of his lips for no reason at all. Love it!  He has started making much better eye contact than he ever has before and just seems like he is 100% more aware of his surroundings and what is going on.  On top of all this, my little man has begun to ROLL!! WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!  Yes, you read that correctly, Benny boy is finally on the move.  I could not be more proud of him!  I was so excited just a few weeks back that he was trying to roll for the first time, and now I can't keep him still.  Oh, my friends, you have no clue what a relief this all is.

If you follow "Ben Through It All", you know that we've had a rough time of it these last few months.  I've written multiple times about my little bug just zoning out.  It was right after his 6 month appointment that he just glazed over.  He stopped talking, smiling, laughing, and was just in his own world.  I'd be lying if I didn't say that I was terrified.  However, here's what I have realized.  I REALLY need to chill out!  I have been such a mess these last few months, that I have been a walking ball of stress.  Now, I am not saying I didn't have a reason to be worried.  I did have good reason, but that didn't justify how much I was affected by it.  My son is 10 months old, and my son has Down syndrome.  I cannot afford to let these things get to me like this.  I need to be aware of these changes, and I need to take action on them accordingly, but I still need to enjoy my boy.  I need to not let the worry consume me.  I need to take everything day by day.  Breathe...

I have a huge network of DS families I follow on Facebook, Instagram, and on multiple blogs.  These families are or have gone through so much more than I have had to face with Benny.  They have gone through feeding tubes, heart surgeries, eye surgeries, esophagus surgeries, etc., etc.  They are all so strong and so positive!  Some of them practically live in hospitals with their little loves, and yet they still stay strong.

For this reason, I am making a vow to myself and to my Benjamin.  From here forward, I will continue to be the best Mama I can be by taking care of you to the best of my ability.  However, I will remember that every day is a gift.  I will remember that we are going to get through anything that comes our way.  I will remember that burying my head in my pillow with worry will do nothing but cause me to miss out on the moments of beauty I am blessed with in my life.  I will remember that, no matter what, every little thing is gonna be alright.  I know I am not going to be able to live up to this all of the time, but I sure am gonna try!

As I was getting Ben ready for bed tonight, all of these thoughts hit me.  They hit me because, for the first time since he was 6 months old, he looked me right in the eye and smiled at me with his whole face and reached up at me.  Everything has been going back to normal, but that smile had not completely come back yet.  Different versions, yes, but not THAT smile.  Tonight, I got a Benny smile.  Then, he pee'd on me.  It seems I was so excited about the smile I forgot to put his diaper back on.  Whatever. What's a little pee all over the fricken' place when I have that beautiful little smile being given all for me!